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Date:2005-03-23 18:50

i've fallen behind in my lj. i have some things to say that fell off my mind.

At any rate, I've been offered and have accepted a job administering Linux boxen at Tybrin Corp. at Eglin AFB. It's three hours west of Tallahassee and 45 minutes or so east of Pensacola. I'm boxing things up for the move; I start on 28 March, but I won't move over there till I find an apartment.

This is my first 'real job.' The first time I really live on my own, and the first time I'll end up paying for everything instead of everybody buying stuff for me. I'm trying to balance my need for independence with a willingness to listen to the wisdom of those around me who have done this before, and trying to balance simplicity and frugality with false simplicity. I'm trying to start without much because I've seen it accrue, and I want to see if I need it.

So eh please pray for me and my parents.

One of the most relevant things I've come across in the last few days is zestyping talking about how in the world of blogging, recency supplants relevance. Everything is sorted newest first, but newest isn't necessarily best. This is good to remember when I feel like I'm not up with the blogging revolution and it's passing me by, and when I feel like I don't know enough news and haven't heard enough opinions. New doesn't mean important. Somebody I read said that the up-and-coming types fear history, because it will judge whether they and their thoughts and breathless gossip meant anything. (Don't worry, we're not 'up-and-coming'; zestyping says LiveJournal isn't hip :)

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Date:2005-03-15 11:55
Mood: infuriated


I am so enraged! jeffthewookiee told me that tomalynne told whitesilk and shadowjade that they saw me talking to springdove and talking crap about jdbailey. What a crock!

What sucks is that everybody has asked why I'm leaving the trekkie fandom but the answer is simple: Some of you know who you are and why I'm leaving FOREVAR.

Oh and I am so going to kick springdove out of the house. They wore my favorite furry shirt when jeffthewookiee was visiting. I've never been so embarassed in my life!

-- chosen from the writings of The LJ Drama Generator thingy

man. come on! the furry shirt? argh. how could you. you can't live with me anymore. just... arhg.

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Date:2005-03-11 16:38

Foreign language pledges irk student

Anti-linguists rejoice

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Date:2005-03-02 23:38

Tonight I have stubbed four of the five toes on my left foot.

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Date:2005-03-01 01:10
Subject:libertarianism rears its ugly head! ruaarrr

Grounded: Millionaire John Gilmore stays close to home while making a point about privacy

I knew about John Gilmore and his attempt to either fly without an ID, or actually see the law that requires him to show it. What I didn't know, which this article fills in, is John Gilmore's history in computers and the Internet.

I talked with Kristi about this issue today as we drove to get Jones Soda, and I got that annoying thing that presidents in a debate get where they can't listen to the other person's point and they have to get their word in edgewise. (I'm sorry, dearest.) But whether or not you should have to show your ID to get on a plane, the deeper issue is whether you should have to obey a law you aren't allowed to see. We're supposed to be under the rule of law (as opposed to a king or dictator), and we're supposed to be able to see and even challenge that law. I'm glad there's a guy that's rich enough who wants to fight this. I guess our country isn't socialist enough that just anyone could do it. Miranda wouldn't have made it to the Supreme Court except that somebody figured out his lawyer wasn't lawying.

For other things to get fired up about, check out the Electronic Frontier Foundation. For other things to get fired up about, that are outside the box of middle-class America, and are gobs more important than whether I'm allowed to watch a movie on a DVD I just bought, see AllAfrica.

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Date:2005-02-25 07:36
Subject:aids, uganda, condoms, abstinence

Uganda: Condoms Outshine Abstinence in Aids Battle - Researchers

Compare/contrast Uganda AIDS Prevention Success Being Undermined by Infuriated UN Condom-Pushers. Discussed here, found by hymnia.

lifesite is written from a conservative standpoint which values abstinence and marital faithfulness and kinda hates condoms (at least for public health purposes). the condom outshining article above is published by the UN Integrated Regional Information Networks (IRIN), the "infuriated condom-pushers" themselves.

the people quoted are maria wawer from columbia university (a "condom-pusher," i can only assume), and edward c. green from harvard, who is a chief proponent of the ABC approach (Abstain, Be faithful, or [last] use Condoms), and also a proponent of alternative/complementary/indigenous medicine. he puts "modern" medicine in quotes all the time. and he's a redhead. wawer is b&w.

the study findings that the IRIN mentions are from the Rakai Project, which Wawer has led since its concep -- er, inception in 1995. whereas green has been working in uganda since 1987, and attributes lower STD incidences over the period from then till now to the ABC program he built. i think it went up in the early 90s judging from this Ugandan ministry of health report.. maybe that was when the epidemic was catching on.

i didn't read all of green's stuff but i have to hand it to him, he's got a lot more of it available than wawer.

the rakai project is mentioned in this CDC page about the STD-HIV link. basically if you treat other STDs, HIV incidence goes down.

looks like some great stuff here.

btw phone numbers in uganda start with 011 256.

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Date:2005-02-24 01:42
Subject:happy birthday too joie.

we're all glad you're here.

"Happy birthday..." -- Disney's Robin Hood

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Date:2005-02-17 04:37
Subject:yeah i saw it on slashdot

the kyoto protocol comes into effect today. lots of countries but not the US have committed to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions.

apropos to that - an article about the consensus that the earth is getting warmer, and the reason is people. in the conservative circles where my parents run everyone says there is no such consensus, and that consensus is wrong. Also see Wikipedia on climate change, global warming, and the Kyoto Protocol.

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Date:2005-02-17 04:01
Subject:helter skelter

it's all crazy. three days have gone by without my consent or approval. they didn't ask me! how mean. so now i need to leave to go to atlanta tomorrow, but it's way too late to get an early start and i wasn't ready to go anyway. it's very cool, i'm going to meet my mission year people, but i told one of my people in atlanta i'd do some computer stuff while up, and i didn't tell another person in atlanta about some stuff i've been preparing. and so i'm trying to get that stuff together before leaving. i wanted to go early to get the computer stuff done and not have it supplant meeting with people (!), but this was early.

i've found two or three other places in tallahassee i'd like to work if not at aegis. fun! but i haven't geared up my resume for them or sent anything or gone to see them. boo hiss.

my computer is dead, again, expensively this time. last time the power supply died; this time it's the motherboard, and there's no telling what else is fried, or whether it will fry another computer if i put it in it. it's like the parts of my dead computer have a dread contagion. so now instead of $50 it's $500, and i haven't any money.

because i took my cat to the vet to get his cast off and they charged me $100. and my dearest and i had dinner at manna, a verra-nice and expensive restaurant, on valentine's day. and there's the matter with melissa coming to the mission year reunion, about which i have not told everyone at all yet. so yes dearest you are right. i have no money, because i have no job. not long ago i was rich; today i am poor relative to then; this happens when you don't get money all the time i'm afraid.

mr. t loooved the ride to the vet's office in my lap. he was kinda fidgety trying to look out the window but he purred all the way and rubbed his face all over me anywhere he could. even after the shots were administered, he was scared but still liked me. but after the cast came off he was like a red-haired wood chipper with his little super-buzz-saw-claws. and of course the leg that was in the cast was all atrophied and stank and shedding all over me. he licked and furiously nibbled it all the way home instead of trying to look out the window. i haven't seen him since then (tuesday).

i knew, all through the last three days, that i wasn't getting what i wanted done and i would regret it. yet sometimes i have no self control. bleh.

i've committed to leave my house every day for lent. it was something i need to do anyway - and it doesn't seem very ascetic or self-denying - but i thought of Vinoth Ramachandra's exposition on Job in Gods that Fail, and how he says that at the end when Job says, "I repent in dust and ashes," it really means something more like, "I repent from dust and ashes," i.e. having heard what i needed to from God, i can cease to mourn and question, and i can trust and be happy again. that's what leaving my house is like. stopping bellyaching about how i never see anyone, doing something about it, and being happier. make sense?

so. to all who haven't seen me online, the reason is because my computer's dead. i'm on my mom's right now; it doesn't quite work right in every case. (??) and i'll be gone to atlanta all weekend, w00t!

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Date:2005-02-12 03:21
Subject:1984 craziness

i just read 1984. yes that's correct i did not read it in high school. perhaps because my english teachers liked socialism more than Orwell. :) liberal conspiracy theories aside - it screwed me up. then i listened to darlene zschech + choir + brass + band sing worship songs. and i started to think maybe orwell hated christianity or religion in general. or maybe he just hated socialism and i think christianity and socialism have a lot in common :) so here are the parallels i found.

Read more...Collapse )

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Date:2005-02-09 23:30
Subject:the girlfriend quiz deconstructed

Out of 395 random sets of answers:
28.6076% bad
15.9494% motherly
29.6203% perfect
12.6582% sensitive
12.9114% uninterested

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Date:2005-02-09 22:11
Subject:'third places'
Mood: listless

third places

Gary Oldenburg, urban sociologist, says 'third places' (besides home and work, close enough to walk to) are the focal point of democracy and community, and they're disappearing from American life. He contrasts them with shopping malls (where you don't expect to know anyone you see there), but I thought about churches. Big churches full of people I don't know. I can't rag on churches though, i haven't been to one in forever. but i'm feelin' him about the "increasing privatization" of American life and the "lifestyle consisting of a home-to-work-and-back-again shuttle." except the work part.

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Date:2005-02-08 23:39

You are Euterpe, the muse of music. You are an inventor, and you constantly come up with new ideas. You are happy when everyone else is happy.


the United Nations!

Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to
completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long
way to go.  You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each
other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of
beating each other about the head and torso.  Sometimes it works and sometimes
it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result.  But your heart
is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.

Take the Country
at the Blue Pyramid

i was 'perfect.' i thought there must be something wrong with the quiz because yes, i'm boyish, i'm a boy, but really. i'm not close to the perfect girlfriend. springdove is the perfect girlfriend. although her hair is beautiful and red, not that obnoxious shade of pink. and when she wears eyeliner she doesn't look like a football player. but i digress.

i had to pick the quiz apart. first i wrote a ruby script to try all possible answers. but i got tired of waiting: that's 15625 tries. so instead i wrote another script to take the quiz 100 times with random answers. analysis later today. blagh.

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Date:2005-02-03 18:32
Mood: confused

So as i told jeff, instead of getting Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide and Children of the Mind, the proper quadrilogy, i got Ender's Game, Ender's Shadow and Shadow of the Hegemon. The Shadow books are written in 1999 and 2000 respectively, and are about Bean and Peter, respectively. (Although so far, Petra and Bean are the most important kids in the third one.) Because after Card was done with the quadrilogy he realized he had more to write about 'kids in space.'

This series really messes with my mind. Ender's Game, the first time I read it, made me (1) wish the battle room were real, and (2) be completely wary of why people were saying what they said and doing what they did. All three of these books are about hyper-intelligent children (Bean even more so; his secret is revealed in Ender's Shadow), who can figure out the whole from the part, tell when people are lying, and generally divine the non-squishy motives behind the squishy things people do. Like saying hi. People say hi gruffly in these books because they want you to think they aren't nice so you'll do what they say, or cry so that people will think they're upset and move them to some place with windows where they can escape better. They know too much about psychology for psychological tests to find out anything about them besides what they wanted the tester to know. Nothing is reasonless. The adults are always watching, because they are children and because they are child prodigies. There is no pause to wonder what this is all about, what it is for: only the next goal to achieve. The next person to get on their side, the use of this person as a tactic to enforce their strategy. I guess that's good writing, because they are military commanders after all, that's how commanders have to think - but adult military commanders are not as focused. They got to be people first. The kids are only just learning to ... squish. To actually tell people how they feel - if they find anyone they can trust enough. To be human, be like the people in the world they saved.

And that screws up my mind. Um, but they're really good books.

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Date:2005-01-30 04:41
Subject:country roads, take me home, to the place i belong, tallahassee with my lassie, take me home, countr

i staged a much needed escape from my house and bed, and spent a lovely afternoon with my beloved. (well, she helped a lot... in fact she might have suggested that; i was rather desperate.) it was kinda rainy actually - but . you know. i still have quizno's leftovers to eat tomorrow, w00t. and she's happy with her papazan cushion, which i'm sure she'll tell you all about. she luvs it.

then i stayed at the tjk pad for potluck and salmon in the evening, a sumptuous repast with some wonderful people i don't know well enough (what were their names? eek!). so lovely. i got to say "the fish was delish and it made quite a dish." (trivia, as gathered from hrwiki.org: that phrase is from the Ninja Turtles.) i was so proud of myself. now if i had only not planned that. as it was, i felt too self-conscious. the pot-lucky folks left and tanya joie kristi and i played apples to apples. yay fun! but only really starts working with four people.

and my dearest and i talked face to face. i know i can't complain to anyone who is in a long-distance relationship, but i missed her. a lot. in 'dune' paul called his beloved 'sihaya' (sp?), 'my desert stream.' i thought about kristi. paul often asks her for her wisdom, which is considerable. i listened to this book on tape as i laid at home and thought and wished and missed. dune is certainly a great book.

ender's game is another. i stayed up until 4:00 reading it the first time, and i've just done it again. managed to stop although i'm halfway through. i can't wait for the sequels, which i've bought.

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Date:2005-01-25 22:37
Subject:careerbuilder.com sucks

careerbuilder.com has promising-looking jobs in Tallahassee. But they gave my email address to people who send me spam. Whoever it is that happened to post the exact job that I want didn't tell CareerBuilder who they were, so my only way of contacting them is through CareerBuilder. (holy crap! what if they're not a real company?? what are they going to do with my resume....) Every time I log in, there's a 'special offer' from some third party that CareerBuilder is in cahoots with, so I can give someone else i don't know all my personal information. And I'm worried that since I applied for this job using CareerBuilder, the company that put up the ad may pin their negative feelings against CareerBuilder on me. If they are a company and not the resume-snatchers.

And if I remember correctly, the person who suggested CareerBuilder to me is someone I love very much. Of that person I humbly ask forgiveness for my violent reaction, but I want other people to know what this site does. Maybe this is how business on the Internet works and I shouldn't be so snooty... but if you're looking for a job-search site and you don't want your email address pimped, keep looking. So far I've found Monster.com and hotjobs.yahoo.com (which is co-opted by the Open Source Technology Group as Sourceforge.net TechJobs). For a few other links, see my jobs section at the end of my links page. The sites linked there meet my snooty standards.

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Date:2005-01-24 21:54
Subject:the poop conspirators
Mood: weird

my parents have generally been really helpful since my surgery, doing whatever i need. but over the last couple days they've been rather conspiratorial. when i told them i hadn't pooped since my surgery they started feeding me weird things to try to get it on through. i was doing fine! er, brb.

yeah well they got their poop. but i consider it disturbing and not very cuddly-aww-they're-taking-care-of-me-they-love-me to (a) talk about poop, and (b) try to induce it. it's like a mini-twilight zone. can't we talk about regular stuff? ... er, normal stuff?

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Date:2005-01-22 23:52
Mood: recumbent

(that was the vinegar and water.)

and after that my father and i talked about jobs and apartments and graduate school. rather rare, this talk. i mused about what sort of job i really want, and what my life and my mind and computers have to do with each other. i told him i wanted an apartment not for the space, but so i could live on my own before marrying. he said this is probably a good idea. i'm happy about that - he seems slightly clued about why i might want to go live on my own. but i don't think either of my parents fully understands why i need to leave them - even if i don't leave their town.

dad came out, as usual, in favor of grad school all the way. he always has been. he said i could probably take a few grad school classes without actually getting accepted into the grad school - in fact that this is one of the ways to get your foot in the door. i'm not averse to it - but i need to be a man more than a son now, independent. which implies job. I must have job! No definite articles! Just job!

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Date:2005-01-22 00:07
Subject:the surgery

so. wednesday morning early i had my surgery. all wednesday i couldn't eat. or drink very much. percocet + general anesthesia drugs = barfy. thursday we went into the doctor's office so the nurse could show dad how to pack my wound with gauze. so now i can do most things again already, but sitting is hard and showering is painful. i'd say i'm recovering really well though. i'll spare you gory details (there are some) ... but i'm not nearly as convalescent as i expected. it's marvelous.

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Date:2005-01-22 00:01
Subject:the wedding in missouri [backdated]

lessee where did i leave you all - kristi and i drove up to the wedding of dave mcnelley and kresha crosson last weekend. a wonderful affair where dave cried a lot and kresha giggled. a fairly large part of this (including the communion bread and fruit-o-the-vine given to them) was whispered between dave, kresha and the minister. after the ceremony we threw birdseed, and went to the reception, which was a lovely italian dinner at a nice ballroom. toasts were made, david falls (the best man) and the matron of honor prayed over dave & kresha, partly in tongues. the matron of honor spoke in a tongue eerily similar to mine. boy howdy that was weird. good cake, icecream i didn't eat, and dancing! that was fun. especially dancing with kristi.

then kristi and i spent a day with the stetson crowd (which, in this case, means katie, dennison, malli and neodave), watching a couple movies, eating pizza, playing 'battle of the sexes' (guys won! but the game wasn't really that fair to the girls.), krispy kreme..

btw, stetson crowd, especially katie and dennison, if i was too pairy with kristi and didn't pay enough attention to you, i'm sorry. i tried to be cool about that without worrying about what i should do or having too many regrets, because nothing comes off well if i worry, with friends or love interests.

then kristi and i had a lovely drive back from missouri where it was 12 degrees in the daytime, back to tallahassee (45 deg. or so at the time).

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